Much like being an elf at Macy's, "Single" is supposed to be a seasonal position. Unfortunately, too many of us find ourselves walking around in June with those funny-looking shoes on, searching for Santa's workshop. I don't believe that we are supposed to jump from one relationship to the next, our boyfriends acting as human trapezes, and so there will be times when we are single without a prospect in sight. I remember these times in my life when I've been single and miserable, hoping that I would find someone half-decent to date, and even settling for guys who were obviously broken and had little to offer. Eventually, I learned how to be single and happy. What's funny is that the minute you become comfortable with being single, someone shows up.
Recently, I thought about a few women who have been single for decades (yes, you read right, decades). I wondered what could make them fly solo for so long. Of course, they've told me, "I just haven't found the right man," but that puts all of the blame on men. I wonder though, are there things that we women need to clean up? Like old issues with ex-boyfriends a.k.a. baggage. Sometimes we don't even notice when someone is checking us out.
Should we simply pay attention? Are we looking our best? I don't know. When I think about the women in my life who have shifted all the blame on men, I wonder how much of their toxic mentality I have too. So I vow this winter to run a diagnostic on myself, and take the issues that I find to the Lord. Who else can clean up the residue of hurt, insecurity, self-loathing, and the other junk that clogs us up? If being single is supposed to be a seasonal position, what are we doing to prolong it? I guess it's time to take responsibility and get to work. Otherwise, it's going to feel like winter for a very long time. What if Spring didn't show up? Can you image winter sticking around for decades? Mercy!
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